Margaret Bedwell Photography
As my undergraduate years are quickly coming to a close, I’ve found myself reflecting on the past four years, not just in the context of college, but in the context of life as a whole. I remember thinking in my first days at Mizzou that I already knew who I was and what I wanted and where I was headed. Now in my last days, I realize how naive I was to think that, because I can’t honestly say I really know the answers to any of those questions.
Who am I?
I am a 22 year old white female. I am a soon-to-be college graduate. I am a Theta. I am a Missouri Tiger. I am both a Texan and an Iowan. I am a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a niece and a friend. I am a barista. I’m a lover of words, of lyrics, of phrases and of stories. I am a world traveler. I am a dreamer and a hopeless romantic. I am a very good singer and a very bad dancer. I am a leader. I’m a morning person and a winter person. I am a reader and a writer. I’m a movie-watcher and a picture-taker. I’m a lipstick lover, a coffee lover and a lipstick stain on a coffee cup lover. I am one big chaotically organized mess.
I could go on for awhile about who I am, but I still feel as if I don’t truly know myself. College has allowed me to discover numerous parts of my personality and mind, but I feel as if I am reading a never-ending story about myself; maybe that’s just how life is. One chapter of your life will bring new revelations about yourself, but the whole is never truly revealed. I am grateful for the aspects of myself that my experiences at Mizzou have allowed me to find.
What do I want?
My best friend asks me this all the time when I pose a dilemma to her, whether it be what I should eat for dinner or if I should even give a guy the time of day. I usually answer that I don’t know; I think most people would answer this question the same way, but we would all know what we truly wanted if someone flipped a coin for our choice. It’s the best decision-maker out there because in the moment the coin is in the air, you find yourself wishing it lands on a certain side. That side is what you want.
Since my decisions lately have not been so black and white, I decided to sit down and really think about what I want. The list isn’t long, but what I want isn’t all that simple.
I want to travel the world. I want to find a job. I want to not live in my parents’ house for too long (sorry, Mom and Dad). I want to work out more. I want to be happy, but I want to do it by myself and for myself. I want to become someone I would want to look up to.
Where am I headed?
This seems to be the question of the year, between family and professors and advisers. I am heading back to Dallas, back home, still continuing my seemingly endless job search. Not finding a job before graduation has been incredibly tough for my confidence and my motivation. Quick shout out to my parents and Tracie for fielding my stressed phone calls and texts, and for reassuring me that it will all be okay.
Also, everyone always seems to ask this questions at big events like graduation, so for the record, I am not seeing anyone and am quite happy about it, as it is giving me more geographic freedom in my job search.
As a whole, I am headed toward great things, albeit great, unknown things. A new chapter of this wonderful life I’ve been blessed with is about to begin, and I am anxious-excited, definitely. #parenttrapquotes
I’m sure I’ll post a blog once I actually get a job offer, so be on the lookout. For now, know I am happy, graduating and heading home.
Margaret Bedwell Photography
Margaret Bedwell Photography
Emily Klaus 